Get to know the story Terra Aluvis behind my characters Sacris and Jerome
I'm exhausted and all empty inside. And I'm going to do something about it.
The intense therapy. Relaunching my business/art too early since autumn (treating my burn-out has not started after all). Those suicide issues with my best friend. Forcing myself to fight my way through the trade fair all beyond my own limits.
My transition was successfully finished from the psychical point of view. My project Terra Aluvis is sort of back-on-track. The sales on the trade fair were surprisingly high - and even more breathtaking was the feedback of the people I met. I even did finish some speed commission works there after all the time of commission blockade.
My soul feels empty. There is hardly any passion nor motivation left for anything. Not even for Sacris and Jerome. While the numb feeling that I'm engulfed by has a positive vibe, it doesn't change the fact that I have severely crossed my own limits. Not for several days or weeks - I've crossed them for 8 months now concerning my business/art. And the 5 months before that I had crossed them concerning my personal development as man. With other words: First I let my heart bleed out. Next I let my creativity bleed out.
I need rest.
My heart has recovered to a healthy minimum during the past months after the toxic end of my last relationship. But my soul is still a vast battlefield - without any fight taking place on it anymore, since it's all over. There is this creepy silence, the fog at dawn covering the corpses. The first rays of sunlight appearing at the horizon. A dozen of survivors checking who is wounded and who is dead - trying to clean up what's left to clean all on their own. Trying to help those who are alive, trying to bury those, who have fallen.
I need to get my head, heart and soul free from everything.
Thus I'm leaving. Luckily the trade fair last weekend got me enough money that I can finally leave for vacation. My first vacation since China back in May 2015.
My thirst to see distant places will be finally satisfied again after 2 years. It will be only for 8 days, but I will cherish every single one of them. Starting with March 18th I'll be away in a distant countryside, getting to know a land I had not touch with at all before: unknown landscape, unknown architecture, unknown language, unknown food, unknown culture. But in safe hands as I'll be traveling in a small group together with other travelers and with a professional leader from Germany.
Please bear with my probable inactivity/lack of creative output until April. I hope that my creativity will have at least small glimpses where it allows me to sketch or draw quick concepts, but there is nothing I can force myself to anymore. I've forced myself too much in the last year. I need to let go of forcing things. I need to let go.
I hope you understand.
And I hope I'll return with refilled supplies - in heart and soul - ready to get back to Terra Aluvis, Sacris and Jerome and anything else my creativity is capable of when it's fired up <3
Thank you for your patience with me.