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Healing Rain (It's okay that you are different) by Van-Syl-Production Healing Rain (It's okay that you are different) by Van-Syl-Production
Sacris: "I love you, because it's YOU, Jerome. I don't care about your gender. And even less do I care that you are different from all the others. On the contrary: BECAUSE you are different, you are so exceptionally unique. It is time that you recognize your beauty and preciousness - and I won't give up until you've learned to embrace and love yourself."

SHORT INFO:

This artwork is meant to finally close the cursed circle of psychic complexes due to being "different" from the mass. It highly refers to a drawing I did 3 years ago: Chimera - Alone in the Mass by Van-Syl-Production
Thus this drawing does not belong to the context of my story Terra Aluvis. Sacris and Jerome just jumped in to help me out, like they have done already once in late summer, when I needed their help -> This has to stop here and now

(long info blow)

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I reject your system (male version, 18+) by Van-Syl-Production
Finally, we've found peace (18+) by Van-Syl-Production


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LONG INFO:

After X helped me out in nailing down my attitude concering "sexual identity", Sacris and Jerome decided to lend me a hand now, so I could deal with the issue "sexual orientation/ pansexuality" next.
Considering though, that in this context Sacris represents me 'accepting/loving' that individual represented by Jerome AND that said individual is as well my "chimera-self" from my past - I can assume/hope that this means, I finally start to forgive me and my past and eventually begin to accept/love myself. that would be awesome after decades of self-hatred, wouldn't it. I am grateful for the eager support of my characters - after all, since I've started dealing with those issues through art one month ago, I've got the impression that the healing progress of my soul has very much increased.

I made Jerome a tad more feminine to make him a vessel for any gender that he needs to be here. In contrast to the illustration of X, I decided to go for no depiction of gender characteristics at all, thus there are no variations - everything is left to the imagination of the spectator.

While water is Jerome's element, he is supposed to drown/dissipate in it here. Sacris in this context is the rock on which the waves break on (short note: in german you have the saying/idiom "ein Fels in der Brandung sein" - he is very much being that in every way. the english equivalent tells only half of the picture, since it is only "firm as a rock" - leaving the breakwater completely away - out of which reason ever. after all it makes a difference if you just manage to stay firm as rock standing around without anything you need to oppose, or whether you are facing stormy ocean waves and yet stay firm.)
However I didn't want to make a "wild cold sea storm", but rather something into the direction of a "warm summer rain" with a darker touch. the rain itself is meant to have something "soothing/healing", like here  Loving You by Van-Syl-Production . The usage of grayscale vs color goes back from its meaning to that drawing:  Hesitation by Van-Syl-Production . from this point of view one could consider this illustration the third piece in the "rain series" of Sacris and Jerome. No references used.

Sorry for the high amount of personal drawings lately. However, I'm convinced, at this rate I will be able to 'complete' the gender issue for myself in no time. I consider my transition complete from the psychical side - those drawings are like some sort of "cleaning up the last rubbish and putting the remaining stuff into the new furniture etc".
And believe me, I'll be the happiest among all of us, when my characters and I can finally go back on focussing on Terra Aluvis again.
and I seriously don't know what else could be left to draw on this issue on my end, so I have real hope that it's been it with this drawing here.

Working on this drawing was unexpectedly straining, so I had the urge to quickly get it over with. I am fully aware that it is just half-elaborated and with tons of anatomical mistakes - and I apologize for it. no, really, don't even try to name the mistakes, honestly, you wouldn't be able to stop once you had started naming them. maybe in some distant future I will find the time and strength to work this illustration out properly and fix the mistakes etc.
However, enough excuses made.

just do me the favour: If you have someone in your social environment who happens to be "different" from the mass - maybe just give him a hug instead of criticizing him along with the others, ok? A warm hug can save lives more often than you think.

Now, feel free to share your thoughts ;)

- Nox


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I am open for commissions! >>My commission info<<

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INTERESTED IN MY STORY TERRA ALUVIS? Here are some starting points for you to begin:


Want to join my project Terra Aluvis? ;) (Wink) My Plans for 2015 - You are involved! I seek some helping hands


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[ENGLISH – general information on Terra Aluvis]

What is Terra Aluvis? Read here: van-syl-production.deviantart.…

Read extracts: van-syl-production.deviantart.…

Listen to the soundtrack of Terra Aluvis: van-syl-production.deviantart.…

Purchase
my book, prints, music, etc.:
van-syl-production.deviantart.…

More from Terra Aluvis in general: van-syl-production.deviantart.…

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[GERMAN – über TERRA ALUVIS VOL. 1]

Für alle deutschen Leseratten: Band 1 ist jetzt erhältlich! :) (Smile)

Was ist Terra Aluvis? Erfahre hier mehr: van-syl-production.deviantart.…

Lies das erste Kapitel online: Terra Aluvis: Kapitel 1

Hol dir Terra Aluvis Vol.1 direkt von mir


als E-Book für 5 EUR  |  als Taschenbuch für 17 EUR
per E-Mail an nox.murawski[at]gmx.net

… oder für 6,99 EUR als E-book via alle gängigen Online-Shops:
WELTBILD | BÜCHER.DE | THALIA | EPUBLI


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© 2017 Van Syl Production
Do not use it in any way.
www.van-syl-production.net
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:icondollis18love:
dollis18love Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2017  Hobbyist Artist
Accept yourself and let others be themselves^^Heart Heart 
Reply
:iconvan-syl-production:
Van-Syl-Production Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2017  Professional Digital Artist
Aye <3
Reply
:icondollis18love:
dollis18love Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2017  Hobbyist Artist
Heart Meow :3 Heart 
Reply
:icongreendragon-gecko:
greendragon-gecko Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2017   General Artist
Jerome looks so fragile and lost. Is he trying to cling to Sacris or had Sacris just stopped him... I think the latter. But his face has found Sarcris already. There is warmth and the feeling of 'I care for you' flowing from Sacris to Jerome. So there is hope and Jerome sees it.

I know how it is to be different. Knowing what mobbing is, how it feels; my limited friends circle or the lttle fact to be someone 'not invited to class reunions'... All are just small dots fiting to the frame of intolerance that is still present everywhere no matter whether it is shown drastic or subtle.  Still, I have no clue what you had to or still have to go through - and that is a much bigger pack out of my perspective.  But it is hopeful image. So I guess there is a hopefull transition going on.

I think we all have our way to 'see' and explain ourselfs the world around us - and not everyone is open and tolerant. You need to listen, see, understand and re-think - but why face something that 'troubles you' or doesn't match to your view, knowledge? Not everyone does that. All what doesn't fit in their world concepts is 'pushed away', ignored or worse mobbed/attacked. It is a learning process to be open and to re-think why something bothers you and how you can change your behavior/attitude.
Reply
:iconvan-syl-production:
Van-Syl-Production Featured By Owner Edited Jan 9, 2017  Professional Digital Artist
thank you for sharing your thoughts :)

yes sacris stopped jerome from harming himself and forces him into embracing sacris instead

and being tolerant is more difficult than one think. because even if you are tolerant into many directions (e.g. genders, clothes, genres)  there might be directions in which you are not tolerant (maybe politics, religion etc). while I really work hard on being and STAYING tolerant, I meet very often the moment where I realize how narrowminded I still am. and even when I think "hey in this topic I've become quite tolerant" - when I don't pay attention I'll get intolerant sooner than expected again. one really needs to stay cautious all the time when one wants to stay openminded
Reply
:icongreendragon-gecko:
greendragon-gecko Featured By Owner Edited Jan 10, 2017   General Artist
You hit the point again. ;) But that also means you do face the new and ask yourself if your initial thought is okay. That is even a step more advanced than a lot of others would do  - a lot of people would not bother even thinking about it. I guess it is normal. First you need to face the situation etc and then you decide about how you think/feel about it. Sure, there are always points where you do not want to argue about and may have a specific view. Anyway even so I do not always agree with e.g. view my friend has, I don't press it that he thinks the way I do. I accept he has a different view.

But true - it comes more an more obvious that a lot of people can not build a compromise any more. They live to much into thier world without facing people that are different.
Reply
:iconjonlucasdeth:
JonLucasDeth Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2017  Professional General Artist
The anguish you have endured, like so many before you, resounds through your art. It is all at once painful, radiant, horrific and exquisitely elegant. Thank you again for your honest courage in sharing your most intimate self.  I'm sure you will inspire others! :heart:
Reply
:iconvan-syl-production:
Van-Syl-Production Featured By Owner Edited Jan 9, 2017  Professional Digital Artist
thank you :)
and yes, I hope too, it will help others - and be it that they realize, they are not alone with the problem :)
Reply
:iconchaoswolfstone:
Chaoswolfstone Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
beautiful.
Reply
:iconvan-syl-production:
Van-Syl-Production Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2017  Professional Digital Artist
thank you :)
Reply
:iconchaoswolfstone:
Chaoswolfstone Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
you're welcome
Reply
:iconbannonakaharpsichord:
BannonAKAHarpsichord Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
Aaaaaws <3. Yus. Sweet aquatic cuddles and dramatic weather. It's okay, Jerome. You can cry it out, let the walls down for a little while.
Reply
:iconvan-syl-production:
Van-Syl-Production Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2017  Professional Digital Artist
I'm glad you like it <3
Reply
:icondarknightwolf2010:
darknightwolf2010 Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Damn, seeing Jerome sad, makes me sad! :( And I love to see these kind of drawings, where you can see not only the character's emotions, but to now as well what the artist feels.
I am very happy to know that you ended up accepting and loving yourself.
Us humans are very weird creatures. In one way, we deprave the differences between each individual, but at the same time we want diversity in our lives, as a need to get rid of monotony. :shrug:
Mistakes? You mean perfectly imperfect? ;) I see lots!
Reply
:iconvan-syl-production:
Van-Syl-Production Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2017  Professional Digital Artist
yeah, it was really depressing to work on this piece, thus I couldn't make the "perfect imperfection" any better ;p

whether I'll end up actually loving myself, I can't tell. but at least I've reached the point that I don't hate myself anymore, forgive my past and accept myself. anything else - future will show~

thank you <3
Reply
:icondeathgoddess231:
DeathGoddess231 Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Mistakes aside, this piece is wonderful. I'm happy to hear that you're beginning to love yourself again :heart: I look at this and I can feel the emotion from it. From all the personal pieces you've done with them, I can feel those emotions. I love these two just as much as I hear that you are becoming happy again after so many years of it being a pain and hurtful. Whether the drawings of Jerome and Sacris are of your own personal use such as this or from Terra, it's worth waiting for.

Thank you for the drawing, Nox. :heartpinkglow: Here is a hug for you! Hug For ishizusv 
Reply
:iconvan-syl-production:
Van-Syl-Production Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2017  Professional Digital Artist
thank you so much for your kind words and support <3 *hugs back*
Reply
:icondeathgoddess231:
DeathGoddess231 Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
you're welcome! :love:
Reply
:iconjuri-di-lammermoor:
Juri-Di-Lammermoor Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Hola, Nox! :3

Oh! This is very sweet. I love the expression of affection and concern of Sacris. And Jerome's wounded face. I felt sorry for him :(

What I like about your art, is that you are very expressive. It shows the dedication and the love that you put to what you do. And more than the technique, the references or the proportions, that is the most important of all. Doing things with love. That's what makes you special as an artist. You leave your soul in every job, without fear of exposing your naked soul to the audience. Which is often cruel and hard.

I'm glad to know that you've left the hatred and insecurities behind. It is very difficult for me to be able to tell you something, other than words of support and admiration. Because I've never lived or lived anything so extreme. And I do not know if he was resisted. Love yourself above all things. It is the most important. The rest will come later :D


And how right you are. It is often easier to criticize than to do something for others. Like I told you a few days ago, with everything about the attack. If people were more concerned about the people next door, the world would be a much better place. 

Nox, y
ou are a very sweet and persevering person. Or at least that's the image I created from you. I know that you can with everything that you propose <3
And always have your fans who support you yey: D
Reply
:iconvan-syl-production:
Van-Syl-Production Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2017  Professional Digital Artist
thank you so much for your sweet words <3
I am most thankful that those who follow my art seem to have enough depth to understand what's going on on my end and with my characters.
especially when you are in the "18+ art" section, fans quickly seem to be wanting nothing but "more p0rn already!".
after having posted quite VERY much explicit artworks in the past year, I felt my followers change, indeed ... so I was not sure whether they would be able to follow me in my further personal development. I had doubts, if it wouldn't be "too complicated/ demanding" for them to understand what's going on.
but I am really proud you and my other followers. there has not even be actually one really stupid/superficial comment/remark, since I've started to deal with the gender-issue more offensively through my art.
in general I am really lucky - in all the years that I spent online as artost for fantasy, boys love, sci-fi, bdsm etc I can count the discriminating/ hating remarks on one hand.
I mean there are many artists who work in these genres, who have to face stupid comments daily. I realy am very lucky :)
thank you so much!
Reply
:iconjuri-di-lammermoor:
Juri-Di-Lammermoor Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Buen día, Nox! :3


In my opinion your art has that which makes it interesting. That in your words and expressions you have very deep things and give to think. In addition you can see the infinite love for your characters <3 (And obvious, how good a artist you are). If your art did not have all that. I would probably favor your explicit drawings (I'm not toooo sure about that either). 

I understand that you expect a more comprehensive fan profile, but not everyone will be that way. There you should see what you want. Or just give them thanks or ignore them haha 

Sorry, I did not understand, did they insult you here? :( I thought that in the internet people were more tolerant....


Dude, is Jerome a transsexual?
Reply
:iconvan-syl-production:
Van-Syl-Production Featured By Owner Edited Jan 6, 2017  Professional Digital Artist
Gute Nacht x)

thank you :) yes, I try not to end up as an artist who just draws "nice looking dolls", but always try to make "art for the heart". you don't need to be super-intelligent to understand my art, you don't even actually need to read all the information on my art. you just need to watch at it and listen with your heart what it is telling you

haha, whether people are tolerant or not has nothing to do with internet, genre, nationality or anything else. I mean I would have expected that people in the LGBT or bdsm scene are tolerant - but there are just as narrowminded a**holes there like anywhere else. gay men for example would be totally tolerant for other gays, but some of them would be hating against transsexuals. those who are into BDSM might end up being extremely "straight only", so when you are gay, some of them wouldn't accept you neither.
and I already had the case: a trans-woman who was lesbian and had the weirdest BDSM fetishes, BUT she was a convinced racist/ neo-nazi.
see: there is no guarantee that people who have some traits "away from main-stream" would be tolerant in any direction.

and yup, I got a hand full of insults, but that's okay :) it has been really only a few times

haha, no Jerome is a man xD if someone among my characters is transsexual, it would be Lewyn (the blond one who was Sacris first partner, from my current point of view Lewyn DEFINITELY was a trans-woman). I seriously fought whether I shouldn't draw in this case here rather Lewyn, since for HIM it would have been perfectly matching. but since 99% of my followers don't even know who he is, that would have caused too much confusion :)
Reply
:iconjuri-di-lammermoor:
Juri-Di-Lammermoor Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
True, you are right. I sounded like a fool. Is that in Latin America we have the idea that in Europe they are more tolerant to almost everything haha. And Germany is the one with the best image haha. 
It makes me very strange the idea of ​​people of the LGBT community being intolerant. Even more transsexual people... people are very weird sometimes lol

If you want to do it, do not stay with the desire. You can always explain to people what is going on hahaha


Oh ... nothing to do with anything .... try the hairstyle ... take a long time making me and everything and I did not even 5 minutes. I think I need to hide behind my hair hehe ... n_nU
Reply
:iconvan-syl-production:
Van-Syl-Production Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2017  Professional Digital Artist
really? germany has that image? XD funny, because in germany every other country but germany is said to be less conservative, haha!
well people won't throw stones at you when you are different here, but that's far away from "tolerating/accepting" them yet :)

haha xD well it is possible that I will start dealing with Lewyn in future again - but that will have a different approach then and not collide with my therapy in such a crucial moment like this one :) when Lewyn happens to reappear in my art, it will be a careful procedure and I will have thought properly about how to deal with him.
Reply
:iconjuri-di-lammermoor:
Juri-Di-Lammermoor Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist

Well, it has to be when you are prepared and it does not generate bad memories :)
Reply
:iconvan-syl-production:
Van-Syl-Production Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2017  Professional Digital Artist
Aye! :)
Reply
:iconkagehahen:
Kagehahen Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2017
I think that's why writers love what they write so much - they aren't just children, but often times the writer's hero.  (And that there are so many writers should say something). Writers and artists are our reflection and that ocean you drew comes off as a very subtly menacing place drawing blood.  The expression on Jerome's face is striking because of the way most everyone on this page is used to seeing him. Sure he's different - and I hate to be the bearer of bad news but so is everyone else and conforming to a single mold is pretty damn disastrous (see recent American politics).  Asking anyone here if they'd like to see Jerome go by the wayside would probably get a serious thumbs down by the crowd.  Being different (with respect towards the difference in others) is probably the most healthy state one can achieve. It is art - and if you have to a have point to why we exist, I think that's good enough for me.

Oh - yeah - nice drawing...that's what I was supposed to comment, right...?
Reply
:iconvan-syl-production:
Van-Syl-Production Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2017  Professional Digital Artist
yes it was very disturbing to draw/see/experience Jerome like this - and I am honestly glad, that he just is a medium here and that it's not part of his own fate.
I feel a bit sorry for him - in both personal drawings he has taken the "most difficult" role to play. that "rage demon" back then. and now the "lost/broken soul".

thank you for sharing your thoughts <3
and I'm glad you like the drawing ;)
Reply
:iconkagehahen:
Kagehahen Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2017
I very much did.  And when you mention the role he has 'taken' - that choice - reminds me of that song, Behind Blue Eyes - how many of our villains have the 'difficult' role thrust upon them that without them, there would be no true movement in time...

Deep thoughts too early in the morning...
Reply
:icondarkphoenix909:
Darkphoenix909 Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I continue to be touched and enchanted by the way you use art--and your beloved characters--to heal your mental state. Your message is clear and relevant to many of us out here, struggling at times with being outside the status quo, of being "different." Such irony, isn't it, that we're not alone...that there ARE people out there who can and WILL love and accept us....We just have to find them, and sometimes...they find us. ;)

Thanks for posting this--it's lovely and made me smile. 💜💜💜
Reply
:iconvan-syl-production:
Van-Syl-Production Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2017  Professional Digital Artist
thank you so much, dear <3
yes, we shouldn't get discouraged - there are enough people like us who understand us :)
Reply
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