The Royal Command Structure

Hard to know how to critique a piece like this.  The illustrations are very well done and the paper-background effect excellent.  The descriptions of each city are solid if a little cliched.  A phonetic pronunciation would also be helpful - is Xorn 'shorn' or 'ksorn'?  Are there variations of dialect for the names between each part? (e.g. Bayern is "Bavaria" to the English, but also "Bayre" in Alemannic and "Bayan" in Franconian, both dialects spoken within the Freistaat - people differ even within the same geography)

A map would also be handy to help visualise things, given that you describe general directions (is 'Dragon bay connecting the north and the south' of the kingdom?  If so, how can Lun be the center of trade between the north and the south when Xorn is the only one that can navigate it?)

I don't quite get a feel for a story from this set of descriptions - no doubt it's there and obvious to anyone who has enough Deutsch to read the first chapter, but a bit more foregrounding would be helpful to make readers really curious about what's going to happen to these places.